Welcome to this second edition of our “Funny Life Quotes” blog series.

It’s time once again to take a look at the lighter side of life by poking some fun at ourselves and the journey we are all on together.

So, let’s get this party started and get some laughter going!

family laughing together

Funny Life Quotes

“Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” – Dave Barry

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” – Steven Wright

“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.” – Carl Zwanzig

“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit” – George Burns

“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway” ― Sydney J Harris

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” – Wendell Johnson

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“I’m the literary equivalent of a big mac and fries.” – Stephen King

“The world today doesn’t make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?” – Pablo Picasso

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde

“The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.” – Mark Russell

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Miles Kington

“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” – Ellen DeGeners

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

“All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.” – Jane Wagner

“Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.” – Colin Sautar

“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.” – Chuck Reid

“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her” – Agatha Christie


We hope you enjoyed this 2nd edition of humorous quotes about life.

Also, if you have any life insurance questions please contact us at 1-866-369-4474.

As experienced, licensed Canadian insurance brokers we are here to help.

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