Today we take a walk on the lighter side of life and offer up some light-hearted quips about this journey we are all on.

In this day and age of hectic scurrying, stress, deadlines and calamitous news it is nice to take a break once in awhile and just have a good laugh.

So, without further ado, let the funny life quotes begin!

Humourous Quotes

“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” –  Demetri Martin.

“My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?” –  Charles Schulz.

“The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.” –  Andy Borowitz.

“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean that all parachutes are perfect” – Benny Hill.

“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.” –  George Carlin.

“The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.” –  Rodney Dangerfield.

“I’d like to advance to the next spiritual plane, but I can’t find my boarding pass.” – Melanie White.

“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead of you.” –  Bill McGlashen.

“Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.” – Murphy’s Law.

“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” –  Groucho Marx.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. –  Alice Roosevelt Longworth.

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” –  Steve Martin.

“Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.” –  Greg King.

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” –  Oscar Wilde.

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” –  George Burns.

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” – Ron White.

“It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions” – Author unknown.

“Nobody’s spouse ever complained that their partner had too much life insurance” – (ok, you got us, that one is ours).


We hope you enjoyed this article about funny life quotes.

And if you have any life insurance needs or just want to talk to us for some free life insurance advice please give us a call at 1-866-369-4474, as brokers we are here to help.

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